9 Healthy Ways to Release Anger That You Can Start Doing Today

Anger is a complex emotion, often masking deeper feelings such as hurt, fear, or frustration.

It might feel easier to express anger rather than confront the more vulnerable emotions hiding beneath its surface. Or by using another way, to suppress anger and pretend it doesn’t exist. However, neither of these approaches is healthy or sustainable in the long term.

Coping with anger in unhealthy ways can lead to many problems—damaging relationships, causing physical and emotional stress, and even health issues (21).

This is not to say anger is a bad emotion. In fact, anger can be a healthy and normal response to certain situations.

So what should you do when you feel angry? Recognize the underlying causes of your anger and find constructive ways to release it.

We’ve compiled a list of 9 healthy ways to release anger that you can start doing today.

Why Do I Get Angry?

Anger is a natural, though sometimes unwanted or irrational, response to perceived threats.

Anger can be useful, providing us with the energy to defend ourselves in dangerous situations by fighting and defending against injustice.

However, it can become problematic when it leads to aggression, destructive behaviors, or when it interferes with personal or professional relationships.

Anger serves many functions (4), and we’ll highlight a few:

• Self-Preservation: At its core, anger can be a mechanism for self-preservation, signaling when we might be at risk and prompting actions to protect ourselves.
• Boundaries: Anger can also help us establish and maintain boundaries, letting others know what we will and won’t tolerate.
• Motivation: Sometimes anger can be a motivator, spurring us into action to address an issue or make changes in our lives.
• Release of pent-up emotions: Anger can also be a way to release pent-up emotions that have been building over time. It acts as a pressure valve, allowing us to vent and let go of frustrations.
• Communication: In certain situations, anger can be a form of communication, letting others know we are upset or dissatisfied with something.

Anger manifests differently in each of us (25), but some common signs include:

• Physical Response: The body responds to anger through the release of adrenaline, increased heart rate, and heightened senses, preparing us for a “fight or flight” response.
• Cognitive Experience: How we perceive and think about what has made us angry affects its intensity and duration. Sometimes, our cognitive biases can amplify feelings of anger over perceived injustices.
• Behavioral Reaction: This involves how we express our anger, whether through assertive communication, aggressive actions, passive-aggressive behavior, or suppression.

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What Is The Healthiest Way to Release Anger?

The healthiest way to release anger is by addressing the underlying causes and finding constructive ways to express and manage it. This takes a lot of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and practice (11).

You might not get it right every time, but with consistent effort, you can develop healthier habits to manage your anger.

A common mistake we make is trying to control anger immediately, as the discomfort of intense emotions can be overwhelming. We may think of a way to release anger silently, without acknowledging its existence.

What happens over time is that these repressed emotions continue to build up, leading to a more significant explosion down the road.

Instead, we need to take a step back and tackle anger systematically by addressing its physical, cognitive, and behavioral components.

Check out our previous blog: Processing Emotions to learn more about how emotions work.

How Do You Release Anger From Your Body?

The physical response to anger is often the most apparent and immediate. Finding ways to release anger physically is rooted in Somatic Psychology, a branch of psychology that focuses on the mind-body connection (18).

Science states that anger often triggers the body’s fight or flight response, a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived threat (3). This response is deeply rooted in our evolutionary past and is designed to prepare the body for rapid action. 

When a person feels anger, the amygdala, a part of the brain responsible for emotional processing, sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus. This activates the sympathetic nervous system, leading to the release of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol (26).

These hormones cause several physiological changes:

• The heart rate increases.
• Breathing quickens.
• Muscles tense up.
• Blood flow shifts to essential areas such as the muscles and brain.

This prepares the body either to confront the threat aggressively (fight) or to escape it (flight). In the context of anger, these reactions can manifest as physical aggression or intense verbal confrontations. 

However, while the fight or flight response can be useful in genuine danger, in modern life, it can lead to disproportionate reactions to everyday stressors, potentially causing interpersonal conflicts and long-term health issues if not managed properly. Understanding and regulating anger through techniques such as mindfulness and cognitive-behavioral strategies can help mitigate these effects.

Read more: Somatic Tapping: How to Use EFT for Stress Relief and Healing

Here are some ways to release anger from your body:

Move Your Body

Exercise is the most widely recognized vehicle for releasing anger. It’s also the most researched: a 2009 study published in the Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology found that intense physical activity can significantly reduce anger and aggression levels in children and adolescents (15).

Exercise promotes the release of endorphins, our body’s natural “feel good” hormones, which decrease tension and stress. It also gives us an outlet to physically release our emotions in a healthy way (13).

Many assume, wrongly, that physical activities such as boxing or martial arts are the only ways to release anger physically. These are good options, but not the only ones.

Any form of exercise that you enjoy and gets your heart pumping can help release anger from your body. This includes running, dancing, swimming, or even just taking a brisk walk (12).

The idea is to have a form of exercise that is easily accessible (meaning you can do it right away when you’re feeling angry), and one that you enjoy enough to stick with it over the long term.

Practice Deep Breathing

When we’re angry, our breathing often becomes shallow and rapid. This response is part of our body’s “fight or flight” mechanism, preparing us to defend ourselves against a perceived threat (2).

Deep breathing can help reverse this response and calm our nervous system. Studies have shown that deep abdominal breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation and decreases stress (16).

To practice deep breathing:

1. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down.
2. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
3. Breathe in deeply through your nose, filling up your lungs from the bottom up. You should feel your stomach rise as you do this.
4. Hold your breath for a few seconds, then exhale slowly through pursed lips. You should feel your stomach sink as you do this.
5. Repeat the process for a few minutes, focusing on your breath and letting go of any tension or anger with each exhale.

Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is a technique that involves tensing and relaxing different muscle groups in your body to promote relaxation and reduce muscle tension.

Research has shown that PMR can help reduce anger and aggression levels by promoting a sense of calm and relaxation. It’s also a helpful tool for managing stress, anxiety, and other emotions (8).

Here’s how you can use PMR to release anger from your body:

1. Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down.
2. Close your eyes and focus on your breath for a few minutes.
3. Starting with your feet, tense the muscles in that area for 5-10 seconds, then relax them completely.
4. Move up through each muscle group in your body, tensing and relaxing them one at a time.
5. As you go through each muscle group, pay attention to any feelings of tension or anger and consciously release them with each exhale.
6. Once you’ve gone through all your muscle groups, take a few deep breaths before opening your eyes.

Consider Massage or Acupressure

Massage and acupressure are alternative therapies that can help release anger and tension from the body. Both techniques involve applying pressure to specific points on the body to promote relaxation and relieve muscle tension (5).

Research has shown that massage therapy can be an effective tool for reducing anger levels, particularly in men. It’s also a useful technique for managing chronic pain and other physical symptoms that may contribute to anger (23).

Acupressure, on the other hand, is based on the principles of Traditional Chinese Medicine and involves applying pressure to specific points along energy meridians in the body (20). Some of these points are thought to help release anger, such as the Large Intestine 4 point located between your thumb and index finger (27).

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with anger, consider seeing a licensed massage therapist or acupressure practitioner to help release it from your body.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as tapping, is an alternative therapy for managing anger. It combines elements of cognitive therapy, exposure therapy, and acupressure by having individuals tap on specific meridian points on the body while focusing on their anger and repeating affirmations (10). 

This practice is believed to help reduce the intensity of negative emotions and physiological stress responses, leading to a calmer state of mind and better emotional regulation. Advocates of EFT suggest it can be a useful tool for quickly alleviating anger and promoting overall emotional well-being.

Check out our blog on Somatic Memory to learn more about how emotions are stored in the body and how massage therapy can help release them.

How Do You Release Anger From Your Mind?

The cognitive aspect of anger involves the thoughts and beliefs that contribute to our emotional response. Often, our thoughts about a situation can escalate our anger and cause us to react in ways we may later regret.

Here are some strategies to help release anger from your mind:

Challenge Your Thoughts

When we’re angry, our thoughts tend to be negative and exaggerated. We may make assumptions or jump to conclusions about a situation or person that isn’t entirely accurate.

One way to release anger from your mind is by challenging these thoughts with more balanced and rational thinking. This technique is known as cognitive restructuring and is commonly used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) (7).

To challenge your thoughts, ask yourself:

• What evidence do I have to support this thought? Is there any evidence against it?
• Are there alternative explanations for the situation?
• How likely is it that my initial thought is entirely accurate?

By challenging your thoughts, you can gain a more balanced perspective and reduce the intensity of your anger.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the act of being present in the moment and observing our thoughts and emotions without judgment. It’s a useful tool for managing anger because it allows us to recognize and acknowledge our feelings without reacting to them (9).

To practice mindfulness, sit or lie down in a comfortable position and focus on your breath. As you do this, pay attention to any thoughts or emotions that arise without trying to change them. Simply observe and let them pass by like clouds in the sky.

Get Creative Outlets

Engaging in creative activities such as painting, drawing, or writing can be a great way to release anger from your mind (1). These activities allow us to express our emotions in a healthy and productive way, rather than bottling them up inside.

You don’t have to be an artist or writer to benefit from these outlets. The goal is not perfection but simply to release any pent-up emotions and let them go.

For example, you could try free-form drawing where you let your hand move freely without any specific goal in mind. You could also write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal or create a poem or short story.

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Communicate To The One Who Has Upset You

Communication is an essential tool for releasing anger from your mind. Often, when we experience anger towards someone, it’s because our needs or boundaries have been violated.

Instead of letting this anger fester inside, consider communicating your feelings and needs to the person who has upset you. This can help resolve any misunderstandings, repair relationships, and ultimately release your anger.

Many of us struggle to express anger in a healthy way in a relationship because it can feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. Here are some helpful tips for communicating assertively:

• Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without blaming or accusing the other person.
• Stick to specific examples rather than making generalizations.
• Listen to the other person’s perspective and validate their feelings, even if you don’t agree with them.
• Take a break if emotions become too intense, but commit to coming back to the conversation when you’re both calm.
• Aim for a resolution or compromise that meets both of your needs.
• Avoid bringing up prior arguments or bombarding the other person with several issues simultaneously. 

In a previous blog on Examples of Emotional Intelligence, we discussed the importance of effective communication in managing emotions and building healthy relationships. By practicing assertive communication, you can release anger from your mind and improve your overall emotional well-being.

Seek Therapy

Sometimes, anger can be deeply rooted in past experiences or trauma, making it challenging to release on our own. A therapist can help you release anger from trauma through various techniques such as talk therapy, EMDR, or somatic experiencing (24, 19).

Therapy can also help you identify and challenge any underlying thoughts or beliefs that may be contributing to your anger. A therapist can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for you to explore and process your emotions in a healthy way.

When choosing a therapist, find someone who specializes in anger management or has experience working with anger-related issues. You can also ask for recommendations from your doctor or trusted friends and family members.

Read more: How To Do Somatic Shaking: A Guide to Releasing Stress and Tension

FAQs

• Are Rage Rooms Healthy?

Rage rooms can offer a novel and cathartic experience for venting frustration, relying solely on them for stress relief or anger management is not advisable (22). They might serve as a temporary outlet but do not provide a long-term solution for emotional well-being.

Here’s a breakdown of the potential benefits and drawbacks from a health perspective:

Potential Benefits

1. Stress Relief: Engaging in physical activity, including smashing objects in a rage room, can help participants experience immediate, temporary relief from stress and anger (12).
2. Physical Exercise: The act of smashing and throwing objects can be physically demanding and may serve as a form of exercise, contributing to overall physical health.
3. Safe Outlet for Aggression: For individuals looking for a way to express anger without causing harm to others or themselves, rage rooms offer a controlled environment for venting these emotions.

Potential Drawbacks

1. Temporary Solution: While rage rooms might provide immediate relief from stress or anger, they do not address the underlying causes of these feelings. Without tackling the root issues, such as relationship problems, workplace stress, or personal challenges, the relief provided is likely to be short-lived.
2. Reinforcement of Aggressive Behavior: There is concern among some mental health professionals that expressing anger through violence, even in a controlled setting, could reinforce aggressive behavior patterns (17). This may inadvertently suggest that violence is an acceptable method for dealing with emotions.
3. Missed Opportunities for Emotional Growth: Effective anger management often involves developing coping strategies such as communication, introspection, and seeking constructive solutions to problems. 

By choosing physical destruction as a means of dealing with anger, individuals might miss out on the opportunity to practice and strengthen these more sustainable emotional regulation skills.

• What Are 3 Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger?

Physical violence (where others or property are harmed), passive-aggressive behavior, and excessive self-criticism and blame are all unhealthy ways to express anger. They can cause harm to relationships, physical health, and overall emotional well-being.

• How Do I Let Go Of Hatred?

Empathy, perspective-taking skills, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are effective mechanisms for managing and letting go of anger (14). 

• Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others, which can reduce anger by fostering compassion and reducing misunderstandings.
• Perspective-taking skills encourage seeing situations from others’ viewpoints, which helps in recognizing that others’ actions may not be intentionally harmful, thus diminishing anger.
• CBT focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviors. By challenging irrational beliefs and developing healthier ways of thinking, individuals can better manage their anger and respond more calmly to provoking situations.

These approaches promote emotional regulation and healthier interpersonal relationships, making it easier to let go of anger.

Let go of hatred by validating your experience (recognizing that you have a right to feel the way you do), acknowledging your feelings and their impact on your life, finding healthy outlets for anger, and seeking therapy if needed. Ultimately, letting go of hatred involves practicing forgiveness towards yourself and others, which can be challenging but ultimately liberating. 

Remember that forgiving someone doesn’t mean condoning their actions or minimizing your emotions; it means releasing the hold that hatred has on your life and moving towards healing.

• Why Can’t I Let Go Of Anger?

You may struggle to let go of anger because it can feel validating and powerful, providing a sense of control and protection. It may also be linked to past experiences or traumas that require additional support and unpacking in therapy. 

Additionally, societal expectations around expressing emotions, especially for men, can make it challenging to release anger in a healthy way. Remember that letting go of anger does not mean suppressing or ignoring it but rather finding healthy ways to express and manage it. Therapy can be a helpful tool in this process.

The Bottom Line

Anger is a natural emotion that we all experience at times, but it’s important to learn healthy ways to release and manage it. By addressing both the physical and cognitive aspects of anger, we can release it from our body and mind in a healthy and productive way. Remember to seek help from a trusted professional if you find yourself struggling with managing your anger.