Tantric meditation is often known for its association with intimacy and sex, but its use spans beyond that. If you’re well versed in the art of meditation, yoga, or spirituality, then there’s a good chance that you’ve heard about Tantra and tantric meditation.
This type of meditation has many benefits and there are a variety of ways you can engage in it. Here, we take a deep dive into the history of this ancient practice to uncover information about the origins and various practices of this type of meditation.
As previously mentioned, tantric meditation is commonly associated with sex and sexual rituals – at least in Western culture. That being said, there is a lot to tantric meditation and truly understanding it requires an open mind and curiosity.
To understand the depth of tantric meditation, we must take a look at history and learn how this practice came about.
According to the Oxford Centre for Hindu Studies, tantric meditation comes from Tantra, one of the most complex but largely misinterpreted of all Hindu traditions. As mentioned above, in the West, this practice is mostly associated with sex and sexual rituals, but its roots were never meant to focus on this (1).
The British Museum describes Tantra as a practice that, over the years, has challenged religious, cultural, and political norms around the world. Originating in India in around the 6th century, the word ‘Tantra’ means to weave or to compose and the spiritual practices at this time were used to invoke gods and goddesses for the promise of longevity and invulnerability (2).
Tantric yoga is also a part of Tantra and uses complex postures and muscular contractions to direct the flow of breath to infuse chakras with power. Hatha yoga is said to be one form of tantric yoga.
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Once this practice started to spread across Asia, many of the practitioners engaged in sexual rites and carried out practices that involved impure substances in cremation ground settings. This was done with the goal of confronting limiting emotions such as attachment, fear, and disgust (2).
At this time, Tantric Buddhist texts and images started using gender to articulate the two qualities to be cultivated on the path toward enlightenment, wisdom, and compassion.
Tantra eventually made its way to the West, specifically the UK and US in the 1960s and 1970s, where it was interpreted as a movement that could inspire anti-capitalist, ecological, and free love ideals. It was reimagined as a ‘cult of ecstasy’ that defied stifled attitudes to sexuality.
Today, while many in the West only see the practice of Tantra and tantric meditation as a sexual thing, some in India where the practice originated stay true to the older teachings believing that nothing is pure or impure, that the self and divine are one, and that we should nurture a non-discriminating attitude that draws on the repressed power of the taboo (2).
Now that you better understand where Tantra and tantric meditation/sex came from, how do you go about starting this? Here are some tips to get you started:
Meditation of all kinds requires uninterrupted time so you can focus all your attention on the practice. There’s no specific best time of day to practice meditation – it all depends on you. Some people prefer to meditate early in the morning as the sun rises, while others prefer to do it right before they go to bed. Some people even take a few minutes of their lunch break to meditate. Simply find what works for you.
If you’re practicing tantric meditation in an attempt to improve sex and intimacy in your life then you’ll want to work on this in a private space. Once you’re in your chosen private setting, there are various things you can do to make the environment more inviting. You can try lighting a relaxing candle and dimming the lights or closing the curtains to make the room feel more cozy and intimate
Meditation is all about focus – you need to be able to stay in the moment without letting your mind wander. Find a way to center yourself so that you can calm your thoughts and emotions. Some ways you can do this include practicing gratitude, doing some simple stretches or yoga, or practicing mantras for anxiety if you often struggle with this (3).
Sound meditation is also a good way to relax your mind and body. Research has shown that music and other kinds of sound meditation can help improve your mood and reduce stress, tension, fatigue, and depression (4, 5).
If music doesn’t work for you, try gong meditation – this is a kind of sound therapy that may help you calm down and prepare your mind.
Read more: Somatic Stress Release Exercises: How to Ease Tension and Regain Emotional Balance
A tantric meditation session involves breathing, yoga, and meditation. We’ve laid out some tantric meditation techniques you can do to help invoke feelings of intimacy.
Please note that while the following techniques are geared towards tantric couple meditation, you can always do them on your own if you don’t have a partner but still want to practice.
Breathing is the core of all meditation and paying attention to your breathing can help you pay closer attention to your body. Studies have shown that breath meditation can help you develop self-awareness and support better integration of the brain and the body for enhanced human performance and that this practice can also help reduce stress and anxiety (6, 7).
How to breathe during tantric meditation with a partner or alone:
Maintaining eye contact with someone is said to help eliminate feelings of awkwardness or shame and can even help open up your hearts to each other. If you’re alone, looking at yourself in the mirror can do the same and help you develop more self-love.
If you’re doing this with a partner, simply stare into each other’s eyes and see what happens. Let whatever emotions that arise run free – if you feel awkward and start laughing, let this happen. You can also talk to each other. Perhaps start by saying things that you love about each other.
If you’re alone, look at yourself in the mirror, breathe, and start talking to yourself. Try as much as you can to say positive things about yourself. Allow yourself to love yourself (or even forgive yourself) in this moment.
Just because tantric meditation can lead to tantric sex doesn’t mean you have to jump into sexual activities with your partner or yourself immediately. Start slowly.
The sensation can be sexual or non-sexual – the point of this is simply to create and/or increase sensation where there previously wasn’t any or well it may somehow have become dulled.
For non-sexual sensation, you can close your eyes. Then take a deep breath and visualize the air traveling throughout your body, through the veins network in your body. You can also breathe in and as you breathe out, visualize some of this breath leaving through the tip of your finger as a trickle of stars.
For something more physical and sexual, touch your genitals and if with a partner let them touch yours as you touch theirs.
As previously mentioned, for tantric meditation and sex, an orgasm is never the goal. If you choose sexual touch in ‘step 4’, reaching climax shouldn’t be the next step. Try edging yourself or each other – you can get close to the peak but don’t succumb to the feeling. Try dragging this out as much as possible.
This will allow you to explore yourself and/or each other more and it also heightens the feeling of intimacy. It can help you relax better, let the stresses of the day (or even life) fall away, and help take away judgments and feelings of shame around your body and sex.
These are also known as Tantra sex positions, even if no penetration actually occurs. Here are the 3 main positions you can do with your partner for enhanced intimacy:
This is simply cuddling your partner, just as you would while laying in bed or on the couch together – but with a little direction.
How to do it:
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This is the most known position for tantric meditation and tantric meditation sex.
Here’s how to do it with a partner:
You could also do it by yourself:
The biggest difference between tantric meditation and other kinds of meditation is that the former (in some cases) involves the act of sex and has the notion of desire. Other forms of meditation practices don’t include this.
Read more: 10 Somatic Exercises to Release Stress in the Body
Research has found that this practice can help improve mental health, emotional awareness, and healthy nervous system regulation (8). It has also been found that this practice can help reduce anxiety, cultivate meaningful relationships, and enhance sexual well-being through the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit (9). Researchers also suggest that Tantra itself could perhaps be used to better understand the nervous system and help enhance cognitive function and treat neurological diseases (10).
You can find a partner by joining Tantra classes or going to Hindu temples that teach the practice and offer classes. Yes, you can do Tantra on yourself. While the practice is often seen as a couples practice, you can still do it by yourself and there may still be benefits. Offerings that are typically found in Buddhism include fragrances, a flower rosary, burning incense, food and drink, and an oil lamp/lit candle. That depends on the religion you practice. Hinduism sects that practice Tantra do not see it as a sin.Frequently Asked Questions
How can I find a Tantra partner?
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What are the 5 tantric offerings?
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In the West, tantric meditation is largely used to help people explore and learn more about their intimacy and sexual lives. If you’d like to try this, try practicing the aforementioned techniques by yourself before you seek out a partner.
Please note, if you don’t have a partner, you shouldn’t choose someone at random. This is an incredibly intimate practice that could put you in a dangerous situation if you’re not sure of your safety with the person in question.
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