With over 3 decades of experience, Dr. Lisa Lawless is a seasoned clinical psychotherapist specializing in relationships and sexuality. She holds a Ph.D. in Holistic Health and is focused on providing intimacy and sexual wellness education.
Let’s talk about sex and intimacy during menstruation. For some, it’s an awkward subject, while for others, it’s a natural part of life. Either way you see it, one thing is for certain: your period doesn’t have to hit pause on connection, comfort, or pleasure. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or focusing on self-love, there are plenty of ways to navigate this phase with confidence, care, and a little creativity.
Our guide dives into what’s happening in your body during menstruation, how hormones affect your mood and desires, and tips for embracing intimacy with your partner or yourself. But first, let’s understand what exactly is happening to your body during this phase of the cycle.
Menstruation marks the start of your cycle, with hormone levels such as estrogen and progesterone at their lowest (1). For most people, this hormonal dip explains why you might feel a little “meh” during the heaviest days of your flow. It’s worth noting, though, that some people with conditions like PCOS or hormonal imbalances may experience deviations from this typical pattern. This hormonal dip can lead to the following:
The key to navigating this phase is to listen to your body and honor what it needs—whether that’s a cuddle, a conversation, or some solo time with your favorite playlist and a heating pad. Remember, there are no rules for what your body craves, especially with intimacy, during this time.
Let’s clear the air on a common misconception—period sex doesn’t mean zero risk of pregnancy. Sure, the odds might be lower, but it’s not a zero-risk scenario. Here’s the deal: sperm can live in your reproductive tract for up to five days. So, if you have a shorter cycle or ovulate soon after your period, there’s a chance those swimmers could meet an egg. Think of it as a surprise party you didn’t RSVP for. If avoiding pregnancy is a priority, you’ll still want to lean on your trusted contraception method during this time.
Your period doesn’t have to mean the end of intimacy. In fact, it can be a great time to lean into simple, meaningful forms of connection.
That being said, for some, period sex might conflict with cultural or personal beliefs, and that’s okay, too. Honoring your values and boundaries is just as important as exploring new ways to connect.
Keep in mind that your period isn’t a free pass when it comes to protection. Menstrual blood can increase the risk of transmitting sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Menstrual blood creates an environment where STIs like HIV or Hepatitis C can be transmitted more easily.
That’s because blood can carry infections like HIV or Hepatitis C, making protection essential—even during your period. Condoms are your BFF here, offering a barrier that keeps things safe and sexy. Think of it as a win-win: pleasure and peace of mind. If you or your partner are not in a monogamous relationship, this step is non-negotiable.
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Let’s be real—period sex can be a little messy, but that’s nothing a little prep can’t handle. Keep a dark-colored towel within reach to catch any spills, and consider positions that keep things a bit more, shall we say, contained.
If the idea of cleanup feels daunting, a quick session in the shower can make everything feel easy-breezy (and bonus: the water might feel soothing on cramps!). The key is finding what works for you and your partner—because comfort is just as important as connection.
If you’re worried about how menstruation affects your vaginal pH—which can make you more sensitive to infections—consider using a gentle, pH-balanced cleanser. And for a mess-free experience, waterproof sheets or period-friendly lingerie, like Thinx or Knix, can be total game-changers.
Are you feeling better? This may be the time to dip your toes into intimacy—or dive in fully!
Here’s a game-changer: menstrual discs. Unlike tampons or cups, discs are designed to be worn during penetrative sex, keeping things cleaner and more comfortable. Of course, if you’re using a tampon or menstrual cup, make sure to remove it before any intimate activities to avoid discomfort (and potentially embarrassing moments!).
Unlike menstrual cups, which are designed to create a seal and are removed before sex, discs sit higher in the vaginal canal and can stay in place during penetrative sex, offering a cleaner and more discreet option.
For something else that is mess-free, consider shower sex! It’s a clean, soothing way to connect and save water while you’re at it (4). It’s all about finding what makes you feel confident and at ease. There’s no right or wrong here—just options to suit your vibe.
Practical Hygiene Tips:
Wondering how to stay fresh? Stick with gentle, pH-balanced washes, and avoid douching, which can disrupt your vaginal microbiome. For a quick cleanup after sex, warm water and a washcloth are all you need.
Whether you’re single or just in need of some you-time, masturbation is an amazing way to relieve stress! It boosts endorphins and eases cramps. Think of it as self-care with immediate benefits.
Are you not feeling up for full-on period sex? No problem! Intimacy can go way beyond penetration, and sometimes foreplay can be even more fulfilling.
Bonus tip: Orgasms from foreplay or masturbation can still help with cramps and mood—even if you’re skipping intercourse.
There’s a growing trend in the world of relationships, and it’s called “Intuitive Intimacy.” The idea? Prioritizing emotional closeness over physical acts. Think heartfelt conversations, holding hands, and simply being present for each other.
Other ideas? Cook a meal together, watch a favorite show, or take a walk while sharing your thoughts and feelings. Intimacy is about quality, not quantity, and this is your time to define what connection means to you.
More and more people are recognizing that intimacy is about quality, not quantity. It’s less about what happens in the bedroom and more about how you make each other feel. So if your period week has you leaning toward emotional connection rather than physical, lean into it. This is your relationship—your rules.
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As your flow becomes lighter, your body may start to feel more energized. This is a perfect time to spice things up—whether solo or with a partner.
If you’re not feeling it yet, that’s okay. Emotional intimacy, such as holding hands or sharing a cozy meal, can be just as meaningful.
By the end of your period, your energy and libido might be making a comeback. This is when many feel ready to dive back into more active intimacy.
Remember: intimacy during this time is about your rules and your pace.
Menstruation can be a rollercoaster for your emotions and body, but open communication and mutual understanding can make all the difference. Here are some overarching tips for navigating intimacy during this phase:
When it comes to sex during your period, communication is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Be upfront about how you’re feeling—whether that’s craving connection or needing space. Sharing your comfort levels, boundaries, and preferences with your partner can clear up any awkwardness and set the stage for a truly meaningful experience. Remember, consent and understanding are sexy. A simple “Hey, here’s what I’m into (or not into) right now” can go a long way toward deepening your bond.
Sex and intimacy during your period may feel like uncharted territory, but it doesn’t need to be daunting. Whether you’re cuddling up with your partner, indulging in a solo adventure, or simply taking things slowly, this phase is an opportunity to connect with yourself and others in new and meaningful ways.
Your period doesn’t define your ability to connect, feel pleasure, or explore intimacy. Embrace the flow—literally and figuratively—and celebrate what makes your body unique.
So grab that towel, set your boundaries, and embrace what feels right for you—whether that’s a steamy shower, a heartfelt conversation, or just some well-earned rest. After all, intimacy isn’t just about sex; it’s about connection, comfort, and feeling good in your own skin. Embrace the ebb and flow—your period can be a time for love, laughter, and maybe even a little fun.
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