A graduate of Harvard Medical School and a chair at the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Stamford Health, Dr. Siobhan Dolan is committed to improving outcomes for pregnant people. She strongly encourages innovation and supports equity in all aspects of her work. Dr. Dolan also aspires to transform the healthcare system to improve outcomes for those with genetic conditions.
Let’s talk about sex and intimacy during menstruation. For some, it’s an awkward subject, while for others, it’s a natural part of life. Either way you see it, one thing is for certain: your period doesn’t have to hit pause on connection, comfort, or pleasure. Whether you’re in a committed relationship or focusing on self-love, there are plenty of ways to navigate this phase with confidence, care, and a little creativity.
Our guide dives into what’s happening in your body during menstruation, how hormones affect your mood and desires, and tips for embracing intimacy with your partner or yourself. But first, let’s understand what exactly is happening to your body during this phase of the cycle.
What Happens During Your Period?
Menstruation marks the start of your cycle, with hormone levels such as estrogen and progesterone at their lowest (1). This hormonal dip can lead to:
Low Energy: It’s normal to feel physically and emotionally drained, particularly on heavier days.
Heightened Emotions: Hormonal shifts can make you more sensitive, emotional, or in need of comfort.
Cramps and Discomfort: Uterine contractions can cause physical pain, but they can also be eased through orgasms or heat therapy.
The key to navigating this phase is to listen to your body and honor what it needs—whether that’s a cuddle, a conversation, or some solo time with your favorite playlist and a heating pad. Remember, there are no rules for what your body craves, especially with intimacy, during this time.
Low on Energy? Connection Can Still Happen
Your period doesn’t have to mean the end of intimacy. In fact, it’s a great time to lean into simple, meaningful forms of connection.
Cuddling and Massages: Sometimes, physical touch without pressure for more is exactly what you need. Gentle massages or cuddling with your partner can help release oxytocin, which boosts your mood and builds on your bond (2).
Open Communication: If you’re not in the mood, that’s totally okay! Let your partner know how they can support you—whether that’s fetching a snack, giving you space, or just being there to listen — communicating openly will always give you the best outcome (3).
Day 2 and Later: Finding Comfort Through Intimacy
Are you feeling better? This may be the time to dip your toes into intimacy—or dive in fully!
Sex as Comfort: Believe it or not, sex during your period can actually help relieve cramps. Orgasms trigger uterine contractions that release built-up menstrual blood faster, potentially shortening your period. And let’s not forget the flood of feel-good hormones that can reduce pain and lift your mood (4, 2).
Keeping Things Simple: A little planning goes a long way! Keep a towel or tissues handy if you’re someone who dislikes a mess, and don’t forget to talk about comfort levels with your partner beforehand. It’s all about making sure both of you feel at ease and are comfortable unitedly (5).
Whether you’re single or just in need of some you-time, masturbation is an amazing way to relieve stress! It boosts endorphins and eases cramps. Think of it as self-care with immediate benefits.
Explore Yourself: This phase is also a great time to reconnect with your body. Whether you’re using your special toys or going au naturel, indulge in what feels good for you (6).
Are you not feeling up for full-on period sex? No problem! Intimacy can go way beyond penetration, and sometimes foreplay can be even more fulfilling.
Try Something New: Sensual touching, kissing, or experimenting with toys can bring a fresh dynamic to your connection.
Less Pressure, More Fun: By focusing on the journey rather than the destination, you and your partner can explore new ways to connect and strengthen your intimacy and bond.
Bonus tip: Orgasms from foreplay or masturbation can still help with cramps and mood—even if you’re skipping intercourse.
Second Half of the Menstruation: Lighten Up
As your flow becomes lighter, your body may start to feel more energized. This is a perfect time to spice things up—whether solo or with a partner.
Have Fun With It: Experiment with new positions, sensual massages, or even a playful date night that ends in intimacy. The lighter flow means less mess, and your body is likely to be more responsive to touch (4).
Safety First: Always remove tampons or menstrual cups before penetrative activities to avoid infections. And don’t forget to keep a towel or wipes nearby for an easy clean-up (7).
If you’re not feeling it yet, that’s okay too. Emotional intimacy, such as holding hands or sharing a cozy meal, can be just as meaningful.
Transitioning Back
By the end of your period, your energy and libido might be making a comeback. This is when many feel ready to dive back into more active intimacy.
Ease In Gently: Sensual foreplay or slow, exploratory intimacy can help you transition at your own pace (3).
Playful Moments: As your body moves into the follicular phase, higher energy levels and rising hormones make this a great time for more romantic or adventurous activities (3).
Remember: intimacy during this time is about your rules and your pace.
Menstruation can be a rollercoaster for your emotions and body, but open communication and mutual understanding can make all the difference. Here are some overarching tips for navigating intimacy during this phase:
Communicate Freely: Whether you’re in the mood or not, being honest about your feelings and needs will help build trust and connection.
Be Respectful: Every day may feel different, and respecting your own boundaries (and those of your partner) is vital.
Protection is Key: Period blood can make STI transmission easier, so don’t skip the condom if you’re not in a monogamous relationship (8).
Focus on Hygiene: Cleanliness matters. Washing up before and after intimacy and using protection (such as condoms) can ensure safety and comfort.
Sex and intimacy during your period may feel like uncharted territory, but it doesn’t need to be daunting. Whether you’re cuddling up with your partner, indulging in a solo adventure, or simply taking things slowly, this phase is an opportunity to connect with yourself and others in new and meaningful ways.
So grab that towel, set your boundaries, and embrace what feels right for you—whether that’s a steamy shower, a heartfelt conversation, or just some well-earned rest. After all, intimacy isn’t just about sex; it’s about connection, comfort, and feeling good in your own skin. So, embrace the ebb and flow—your period can be a time for love, laughter, and maybe even a little fun.
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