Psychotherapist, Ph.D. in Holistic Health
Are you having trouble lasting longer in bed? You’re definitely not alone! Many men face this challenge. And let’s face it, making sure your partner is fully satisfied and climaxes can sometimes feel a little bit like playing the lottery.
Rather than turning to dubious supplements or wild techniques, let’s focus on some practical and effective ways to enhance your stamina and keep that post-intimacy glow alive. But first, let’s review some of the common struggles many men experience.
Premature ejaculation (PE) and erectile dysfunction (ED) are common issues many men deal with when looking to improve their sexual performance. In fact, a study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that 34% of participants had ED, and a significant number also experienced premature ejaculation (PE(1).
The prevalence of PE was reported at 37.1%, which is higher than in many previous studies. This can be caused by performance anxiety, stress, depression, or medical conditions such as cardiovascular problems or hormonal imbalances.
It may surprise you to learn that one in three men will face some form of sexual dysfunction at some point in their lives (2), so if you’re struggling with this, take comfort in knowing how common it is.
The good news is addressing these issues openly can lead to better health and relationships!
Premature ejaculation occurs when a man climaxes too quickly, often within a minute of sexual contact. The typical range is 4-8 minutes, so anything much shorter than this can be considered premature.
According to the European Association of Urology, men with PE often feel as if they’re riding a rollercoaster with no brakes (3). Research has shown that chronic PE could be due to super-fast nerve responses, heightened sensitivity, or touchy serotonin receptors.
It’s important to understand that ejaculation is a two-part process: first, semen is released into the urethra (emission), then it’s pushed out (expulsion). Sometimes, PE can simply be managed by learning some handy behavior changes and control techniques.
When it comes to chronic PE, where things wrap up in less than 1.5 minutes, SSRI medications can be a lifesaver. These meds boost serotonin, which gives your brain a chance to hit the brakes on ejaculation and stretch things out a bit.
As supported by the Journal of Endocrinological Investigation you can start by distracting your mind, slowing down, or ejaculating before sex to get another erection. Methods such as stop-start or squeezing the head of the penis just before climax can help too. In addition, deep breathing and strengthening your pelvic muscles are also good strategies (4).
According to the European Association of Urology, on average, intercourse can last anywhere from a blink-and-you-miss-it 33 seconds to a marathon 44 minutes, but typically, it’s around 5.4 minutes (3).
Psychological factors, including past sexual abuse, body image issues, guilt, shame, and mental health struggles, can all impact how long sex lasts. Throw in some relationship drama such as power plays, intimacy fears, and toxic vibes, and it can be a recipe for quick endings.
On the physical front, hormonal imbalances, heart issues, or a swollen prostate can also be culprits. Understanding these aspects can help with finding solutions and improving sexual health.
Kegel exercises are your pelvic floor’s best friend and a game-changer for your sexual health. Studies have suggested that doing Kegels can solve premature ejaculation issues in 55% to 83% of cases, according to the European Association of Urology (3).
Squeeze and relax your pelvic floor, also known as your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, for 10 seconds, then rest for 10 seconds. Do this three times, then take a 30-second break. Next, clench and release for 5 seconds, resting for 5 seconds, repeating this 10 times. Hold the squeeze for 30 seconds, then release for 30 seconds, repeating three times. Finally, repeat the first step, and you’re all set for the day.
Read More: Signs Of Mature Sexuality: 10 Ways to Tell If Your Sexual Relationship Is Mature
Pelvic lifts are a simple yet effective exercise to target those pelvic floor muscles and improve ejaculation control.
The European Association of Urology has shown that yoga isn’t just about finding your zen—it’s a game-changer for your sex life too (3). By improving flexibility, strength, and stamina, yoga can elevate your performance in bed.
Try poses such as Boat Pose, Half Camel, Triangle Pose, and Extended Triangle Pose to boost your hip flexibility and core strength for more satisfying intimacy.
According to the Academic Oxford University Press, incorporating cardio exercises such as running, cycling, and swimming into your routine can significantly enhance endurance and improve blood circulation, both of which are essential for maintaining erections and sexual stamina (5). Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity each week for optimal results.
Staying active can significantly enhance sexual stamina. Let’s explore how:
Strengthening Pelvic Muscles
Better muscle control leads to more intense orgasms.
Improving Blood Circulation
Good blood flow supports lasting erections.
Increasing Testosterone
Exercise boosts testosterone, which enhances libido and performance.
Reducing Stress Levels
Physical activity lowers cortisol, decreasing stress and boosting your mood.
Boosting Self-Image
Regular workouts increase confidence, which improves sexual performance.
Do you want to amp up your sexual stamina? Certain foods can work wonders by boosting your energy, improving blood flow, and easing anxiety. Look for antioxidant-rich foods, omega-3 fatty acids, and essential vitamins to get started.
Take dark chocolate, for example. It’s well-known for boosting serotonin, the feel-good hormone that helps ease performance anxiety. In addition, the flavonoids in dark chocolate improve blood circulation, which is essential for good erections and sexual performance.
Similarly, avocados are rich in B vitamins and monounsaturated fats. These elements support blood flow and reduce stress, which helps boost sexual endurance.
Oysters are a double win—they’re delicious and beneficial. Packed with zinc, they’re famous for boosting testosterone levels, which is important for male sexual health and performance, and makes them a smart addition to your diet.
Magnesium-rich spinach relaxes your muscles and enhances blood flow, while watermelon, with its citrulline content, helps with blood vessel relaxation, which improves circulation. Incorporate these foods into your diet for increased stamina and better sexual health.
For peak sexual health and energy levels, staying hydrated is essential. Water should be your primary drink to help your body function well and prevent fatigue.
In addition, green tea and pomegranate juice stand out due to their abundance of antioxidants. These drinks quench your thirst and also improve blood flow and lower inflammation, contributing to better sexual function.
Erection rings, often called cock rings, love rings, and penis rings, work by restricting blood flow in the penis. This makes erections harder and bigger. They can also enhance the intensity of orgasms and pleasure for both partners. For men who are dealing with erectile dysfunction (ED), these rings can be particularly helpful, according to the Highland Medical Research Journal (6).
Penis rings can enhance your experience during sex, hand jobs, oral pleasure, and solo play. If premature ejaculation is a concern, a double penis ring may help by keeping the testicles away from the body, which can help delay ejaculation.
If you’re a man who is experiencing erectile dysfunction (ED), penis rings, also known as erection rings, can help maintain your erection. Generally, you would use a vacuum pump first to pull blood into your penis. You then place the erection ring at the base of your penis to keep the blood inside, which makes your erection firmer and longer-lasting.
Penis rings can be placed either just beneath the head of the penis or at the base of the shaft. Double rings, which are designed to encircle both the penis and testicles, can help delay ejaculation by stopping the testicles from moving up into the body during orgasm.
Read More: How To Increase Sexual Stamina And Function Naturally
Sensate focus exercises, which were created by the legendary sex researchers Masters and Johnson and reviewed by the International Journal of Impotence Research, are a revolutionary way for couples to enhance their physical intimacy (7). By moving the emphasis from performance to simply enjoying touch and sensation, these exercises can significantly improve sexual function.
As comfort and trust build, gradually explore more intimate areas, always prioritizing sensation over performance. By taking these steps, couples can deepen their emotional connection and enhance their overall sexual satisfaction in a supportive, pressure-free environment.
Prioritize your sleep to boost your sexual health and energy as quality sleep impacts your sexual performance. According to the Journal of Endocrinological Investigation, not sleeping enough can lower testosterone levels and lead to ED (4). It can also cause issues such as reduced libido and infertility.
In addition, obstructive sleep apnea is often linked to men with ED. If you’re having difficulty sleeping, it may be affecting your ability to get a full erection. Talk to your doctor about sleep apnea and consider ways to improve your sleep, such as a prescription sleep aid.
Other tips include sticking to a sleep schedule, creating a calming environment, avoiding naps, eating better, exercising more, and managing stress.
Living with chronic stress can really throw a wrench into your sex life. To keep things sizzling, try stress-busting practices such as yoga, meditation, and smart scheduling. These can help you relax and boost your sexual stamina.
Eastern medicine teaches that it’s not stress itself that causes illness, but the way we handle it. Taking time to unwind and practice mindfulness can significantly reduce stress.
Don’t be misled into thinking that watching TV or surfing the internet counts as relaxation. These activities continue bombarding you with stimuli. True relaxation aims to disconnect from daily inputs, which gives your mind and body a chance to genuinely rest.
You can also use sex as a means to relax. Sex isn’t just about pleasure; it can actually help lower your stress levels too. When you engage in sexual activity, your body releases endorphins and other mood-boosting hormones. In addition, after sex, your blood pressure drops, which helps you manage stress more effectively.
Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help you stay present and reduce anxiety during sex. Techniques such as deep breathing, guided meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can improve your sexual experience.
Below is an example of meditation to help you get started:
Talking about sex with your partner can be tough because it stirs up a lot of emotions and deeply held beliefs. Many people have grown up hearing that sex is a taboo, unhealthy, or even dirty topic. There’s also the worry about how a partner may react to these conversations.
Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been together for years, discussing sex can be difficult. Surprisingly, committed partners often find it harder to bring up sexual topics.
The Journal of Sex Research found that married people often have poorer sexual communication skills than other groups. This may be because long-term couples lose the drive to talk about their desires or they may have gotten married without ever being comfortable discussing sex in the first place.
Although it can be challenging, good sexual communication can boost self-esteem and satisfaction. Studies have shown that people who talk about their sexual needs have more frequent and satisfying sex.
If deep conversations aren’t your thing, turn it into a game where you both answer sexual questions to understand each other better. Making it fun helps you discuss sexuality without the heaviness.
Use “I” statements to keep it positive. For example, say, “I really enjoy when you ________ and would love it if you did it again.” Positive reinforcement is key. If you need to mention something you don’t like, try, “I think I would prefer if, when we’re doing ________, if you were to do ________ instead, as it would be such a turn-on for me.”
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If you’re often anxious about pleasing your partner, CBT can help identify and combat these negative beliefs. Techniques such as cognitive restructuring can turn these thoughts into more realistic and positive ones.
To feel more relaxed and confident, try establishing a pre-performance routine. This could involve practicing mindfulness or indulging in a favorite hobby to ease anxiety before sexual activity.
Incorporating relaxation methods such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery can ease physical anxiety. Combining these with CBT allows you to explore and resolve psychological or emotional factors that contribute to performance anxiety, including past traumas or relationship conflicts.
For most women, vaginal stimulation alone isn’t enough to orgasm as the majority of sensitive nerves are in the head or external part of the clitoris (8). To make this easier for men to understand, picture attempting to orgasm without any stimulation to the head of the penis, which has the highest concentration of nerve endings.
When stimulating the clitoris, start gently and talk with your partner about what feels best. Some women prefer indirect stimulation, while others prefer direct contact or have a favored side of the clitoris.
Many women find clitoral stimulation to be the key to reaching orgasm, so sex toys such as vibrators and air pulse toys are popular for boosting blood flow and delivering intense, full clitoral stimulation.
Sex toys can provide creative options to help a woman relax and focus on their pleasure, making it easier to achieve orgasms. This can take some of the pressure off the sexual performance of a partner too.
Sexual performance can be affected by various drugs, including illicit, over-the-counter, and prescription medications. In a 2018 study of 180 people with a substance use disorder, sexual side effects were common (9). For example, many painkillers compete with testosterone receptors, which can lead to decreased sexual responsiveness.
Sexual functioning can be quite sensitive. If you experience sexual issues, it’s also important to consider underlying health problems such as cardiovascular issues, diabetes, or substance use.
If physical factors aren’t present, emotional or mental health may be the cause. Fortunately, most cases have straightforward solutions, but it’s always a good idea to consult your physician.
Recognizing when it’s time to consult a professional for sexual endurance concerns is essential. If adjustments to your lifestyle and exercise routine don’t achieve the results you want, a healthcare provider can recommend various medical treatments for premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, such as medications, therapy, and even surgical options.
Talking to your doctor about sexual issues may feel daunting, but it’s important that you treat your sexual health with the same care as any other part of your well-being. Remember that it’s normal to feel a little embarrassed when talking about sexual health with your doctor. However, you should keep in mind that healthcare professionals are experts in these conversations.
Before you discuss your concerns with your healthcare provider, write down a list of symptoms, questions, and treatments you’ve tried, as this can lead to a more effective conversation.
Adding these exercises and lifestyle tweaks to your daily routine can significantly boost your sexual stamina and overall performance. Remember to embark on this journey with patience and positivity as progress requires time and effort.
Even if you’re facing serious challenges that can sometimes feel as if you’re climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops, there are always ways you can enjoy sexual intimacy.
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