Blog Mental Health Relationships How I Walked Out Of A Divorce Breakdown In My 40s

How I Walked Out Of A Divorce Breakdown In My 40s

how I walked out of a divorce

Happy wife, happy life right? So what happens when you’re not a wife anymore?

That’s the reality I was faced with when I turned 40. I woke up one day and the happy woman who used to walk in Sheffield, Alabama, was long gone. Instead of a happy ever after,  I had a broken family.

Why hadn’t my life worked out the way it was “supposed to”? Why hadn’t I gotten my very own fairytale ending? I was disappointed and frustrated. I blamed myself for it all.

It didn’t take long for me to start eating my feelings. I was loading up on Twinkies and Oreos, munching my way into a deeper depression. I had no motivation to get out of bed in the morning, let alone work out or even breathe!

The only physical activity I did was to open the door for the takeout food for my kids. My poor kids – I didn’t even notice how they grew up. I was so busy eating my way to comfort, I didn’t realize my kids were struggling with the divorce too. They were on auto-pilot too, doing what they had to with whatever little guidance I could provide in my state. Soon, Jenny was going to university in Washington, and Matt was starting college.

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I kept telling myself to “snap out of it”. But how? What do you do when your world comes crashing down around you? I didn’t know, so I did nothing. I felt desperate and worthless. My emotional state was at its all-time lowest.

I wanted to find my happy place again

Jenny suggested I download one of those dating apps. I did it to humor her, but I quickly realized that getting back in the game after all those years was hard. Especially when I wasn’t in the best physical and mental state.

I went on a few dates, and  I remember how awkward I felt. I was so uncomfortable in my own skin. Going back home and looking in the mirror only made me feel worse. Who was that woman staring back at me? When did she get the flabby belly and clothes that barely fit?

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At this point, I was in my early 40s and transitioning into menopause. Cue the hot flashes and migraines. And as if my unhealthy relationship with food wasn’t enough to make me pack on the pounds, my perimenopause weight gain was in high gear. Realizing I’d put on an additional 15 pounds was a bitter pill to swallow.

I couldn’t live like this anymore. Watching my life go by in pain and sadness wasn’t the option anymore.

So, I got to Googling. Which physical activity would increase dopamine and expand my capacity to feel joy? I got many answers to this question and decided to hire a personal trainer to tell me exactly what to do.

My trainer, Kate, got me back on track and I started feeling great after a few weeks of workouts. Kate believed in me and encouraged me to walk for fitness, so I figured walking would be my solution.

If I wanted to reach my results, I had to find a way to do a bit of physical activity every day

At that time, my weight goal was 140 pounds (and I weighed 182).

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Kate recommended walking 30 minutes a day. She said it would help me burn fat, increase my metabolism, strengthen my muscles, and improve my mood. I thought 30 minutes was doable.

She also recommended the BetterMe app’s walking workouts and these made all the difference. The app has a set of 21 walking workouts. You start off each walking workout with a warmup, then get to the good part (start the timer and follow the directions to do brisk walking etc), finally, you finish it all of with a cooldown.

If you’re not familiar with BetterMe, it’s a fitness app that works with you to help you lose weight and reach your goals. The BetterMe team created walking workouts to keep you motivated and on target using this simple physical activity that costs nothing to start and has many health benefits.

And let me tell you, walking is just what I needed. On the days when I didn’t feel like working out, BetterMe and my trainer Kate were there to motivate me and keep me on track.

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After a few weeks, I was feeling better again, eating healthier and fitter than ever. 

This easy-to-use app also has more information about nutrition and fitness. I haven’t ordered take-out for months – not when I can look for a meal plan on the app and get so many ideas!

Now the woman in the mirror has not only a beautiful body but also a big smile on her face!

Only 3 months after starting my weight loss journey with BetterMe’s walking workouts, I reached my initial weight goal. I felt on top of the world!

Now I always say that walking saved not only my body but my soul too. It’s been 4 years since my divorce and  I’m a whole different person. I feel happy and confident. I feel youthful – all my perimenopause symptoms are gone! I feel like the best version of myself.

Yes, walking really is my secret to living well. And yep! It truly saved me from gaining more weight and feeling depressed about it all again.

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Nothing makes me happier than looking at old pictures of what I used to look like when I compare them to my new body. I can’t stop smiling.

When Jenny comes home from her studies, we walk together. She loves it just as much as I do, so she’s started using the BetterMe walking workouts on campus.

Honestly, here’s what I think my results would’ve looked like without BetterMe‘s walking workouts:

  • Keeping track of my progress would’ve been much harder, so I probably wouldn’t have been consistent with my workouts 
  • I would have lost weight way slower
  • I would have struggled with motivation on some days
  • I would have burned less fat overall

It’s fair to say that BetterMe was what saved me here. And if you’re looking for a trusted partner to guide you through your walking journey, I suggest you do what I did.

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